Caregivers! Death Can Be Unpredictable

Death can be a convoluted and prolonged process. It is rarely linear, and although experts in Deathcare can make educated guesses, no one would say death is 100% predictable.

I mention this because far too often, caregivers of the dying (it’s usually a spouse or grown kids, but not always) really underestimate how intense the dying process can be. Hours can turn into days; what was supposed to be a week can stretch into months; months can morph into years of dedicated care. The care itself can be objectively monotonous and/or arduous. It all depends on each unique situation, but there is a common thread…caregiver burnout.

If you are a caregiver, you must practice self-care. It’s imperative. You need to take breaks, refresh, recharge. Let hospice, or respite care, and death doulas help you. Distant Shores Deathcare works well with hospice care, and the effects of allowing Distant Shores Deathcare specialists to be a part of your team are enormous! You deserve your own special care. Here’s one example: every Saturday morning, from 9:00 am to noon, having someone come to the house so you can go to an exercise class, walk in nature, see a movie, grab coffee with friends, go to park with grandkids, or just lock yourself in the bathroom to give yourself your own spa day….whatever it is that will make you feel “happily human”…it can (and must) be done! Distant Shores Deathcare can devise a unique and special plan to help caregivers get the self-care time they need.

It’s important to be tender, strong, and present for “the finish line”. If you, the caregiver, are burnt out and overburdened there is a risk that, when active dying is upon your loved one, that you will feel bitter, resentful, tired, withdrawn, irritable…in short, at the phase when your loved one needs to feel your love, acceptance, and compassion most…it won’t be there . To complicate matters, you may feel guilty about having these irrepressible feelings. So on top of grief and death, your “best self” just may not be able to come forth due to extreme burnout!

This is, to a large extent, avoidable if you build a Deathcare team to support you on your caregiving journey. 💙 Distant Shores Deathcare can definitely help you. Supporting the dying does not need to be an isolating endeavor. You are not alone. Reach out to us to see how we can be of assistance to you.